"In a tradition to post something emotional every few weeks or days before my birthday, this year isn't any exception. It isn't a resolution point of view, and neither is it nostalgia. More like... I just need to whine, and bitch about what happened this year.

23 is a number that is in-between 'you're still young, you have many years ahead of you' and 'you're no longer a kid, start paving out your life'. & to be damn honest, I thought I had that figured out when I was 21. Life was perfectly planned - great career, brilliant salary, amazing boyfriend, etc... And of course, I decided to fuck it up. Quit my job, left my... ... ..."

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The above paragraphs were sitting in a draft post for over 4 years. I wanted to write and give you 'readers' my thoughts about my then upcoming 23rd birthday. I used to love writing, but I couldn't even finish my sentence about my damned life, what the hell happened? As I am typing this, March 7 2019, I am now 27 turning 28 this December. So much had happened since:

• Last you heard (if there's any of you even), I finally got my French visa and moved there in hopes to build a new life in Paris;
• 2 months later, I was unhappy & miss home so much. I left Paris after falling out of love with the city;
• Again I moved back home, defeated & broke from all that moving in a span of 3 months.
• Found an interior design job and worked there loyally for the next 42 months (3.5 years if you can't count).
• In between the 42 long months, I found a man through the social media means of INSTAGRAM - he lives halfway across the world in Los Angeles 
• Flew back and forth the USA & Singapore for 3 years.
• September 2018, I had enough of LDR. I quit my job and left my family and friends. Packed my life into 2 suitcases (again but hopefully for the last time). Booked a one way ticket and flew to LA to build a new life.

My updates in life seem like a repeated cycle from 2014, however I do believe it is going to be different this time. I am still a fool for love, but stronger and wiser. I emphasise stronger because strength is obviously what I need to be contented and satisfied with where I am. And I want to be content and satisfied. Truth - LA isn't all that pretty. But I won't get into that today.

Looking back and walking down memory lane (a phrase I seem to enjoy using all the time), I am still unable to pen down my thoughts of life. Speaking and discussing about the said topic is easy. Verbally, it isn't permanent. Typing and posting it appears too much of an impact. Maybe I haven't been good with words all this while. 

I am happier and in a better place now. So I am going to try - try to write. 

For now, this is me...

x,

Judi

Pursuit of what?

All images by my iPhone 5

It was as simple as following my gut feelings. The instinct inside every part of my body yelling out all the reasons to follow what my beating heart says. But I didn't. And there is absolutely no room for regrets.  What am I talking about, you ask? My move to Paris. Towards the last few weeks before my flight, there was already strong hesitation. Leaving my family and friends was something I thought I was pretty damn good at - until now - obviously proven otherwise.

Home Sick...

On a prettier note, photo gallery has levelled up 732%. The weather here has been slightly cranky, but I did manage to enjoy 2 days of sunny clear blue skies. & if google isn't playing with my emotions, the forecast for the next couple of days is told to be 20 degrees in temperature. Seems like an Indian Summer has touched down this fall. (feeling so blessed and appreciative) Thank you.

Sincerely,
Judi Lee

Sarah's Key

Probably the most heart-wrenching novel I have picked up this year. I would like to think of it as fate. The book Sarah's Key was not recommended to me, neither did I read any reviews on it. It was a case of random browsing through the shelves of Kinokuniya. I really have to emphasis that I have never heard of or read about it.

2 sleepless nights later, I was caught sobbing and fe;t my heart being wrapped around like a stress ball. The content was navigated through the 1942 Velodrome D'hiver roundup and a journalist compiling relations and informations about it in contemporary 2002. It was based in Paris (of course it was...) & it makes me grin a little when I actually know the street adresses that they wrote about. 

This book came to me at a very good timing. I have to really ask everyone of you to pick up a copy. And if reading isn't your thing -- here's a trailer of the novel's adaptation.
________

Yes! I placed the book down on my table, wanting more... You've absolutely no clue how much joy was in my eyes when I made the discovery that there is a film.....! 
#itsnotoveryet

Sincerely,
Judi

Sunrise

The sunrise is always gonna be more beautiful than the sunset. It always signals a new beginning, and that’s the most precious thing anyone could ever ask for. A fresh start is something every human on this planet would kill for when the opportunity strikes. Question is - how would you know when it is really a clean white sheet of paper, or could it be just a new environment with the same shit? 

As my move to Paris starts to draw closer, my heart reacts differently from excitement. The thought of it being semi-permanent scares me. The commitment level in just a singular city has gone from 'love' to 'live'. People ask me about my migration, and I would react defensively explaining it isn't a migration. I am just testing out a different city for a slightly longer period than usual. But at the back of my head, I question myself - Am I really? 

Don't get me wrong - my love for that city is stronger than Chuck Norris and a mountain combined. The gentle waves of La Seine, the glistering lights from Tour Eiffel after 7pm, soothing cafe's jazz music, fresh hot piping baguette from every boulangerie at every corner... I have just gotta keep thoughts like these in head. 

Get excited . Stay calm . Speak French . Be in Love

Sincerely,

Judi Lee

Moving to Paris

Many times, I caught myself trying to be somebody that I am not. Maybe thats the reason for this 7 month hiatus from blogging. I didn't know where I was going, where it was taking me to. I had no direction nor destination. And I would mostly blame the lack of inspiration in my head.
It’s pathetic really. It felt as though there were too many walls and obstacles standing in my way and that I was being forced to make compromises.The situation was very real and I just wanted to escape, but had absolutely no idea how to do so or how to even approach the situation rationally.

But honestly, who cares. Thats how the cookie crumbles. There is way so much more to life than this.

I enjoy blogging, and have been doing it for the past 9 years (several different pages). I jumped from blogger, to livejournal, to tumblr, and now back to blogger. And there shouldn't be any reason to stop doing it just because I felt unaccomplished. #keeponkeepingon

Here's to a beginning of a completely new era for me! Yes - my visa has been approved. I am moving to Paris October later this year. x